


Curtains

by Something_Like_Space



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Mikasa and Eren sort their relationship, Sultry sceene, Swearing, This is a Rivamika fic, eremika is just confused a little, jelaous!eren, mentions of human trafficking, upppsss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:00:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23218144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Something_Like_Space/pseuds/Something_Like_Space
Summary: Even in that distant Eren could see a ghostly smile on her perfectly shaped lips. Her hand covers his briefly before she bits her bottom lip and reaches to close the thick curtains.
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager (slight), Mikasa Ackerman/Levi
Comments: 85
Kudos: 296





	1. Chapter 1

It is no big of a secret that Scouting Legion returned to the HQ with no dead bodies is a huge success, so when the team returned from their 59th expedition in that morning with no corpse with them, Commander Erwin freed soldiers from their duties for that night.

And that meant only one thing for the soldiers, or at least it should be according to the squad leader Hange - _celebration_.

There was music and dance and alcohol for a fair amount for all soldiers. It had been quite a night, to say the least. Especially for the Scouting Legion, where soldiers have used to everything other than celebration.

After all-night-long drinking and chatting with his friend Eren decided to go for a walk on his own since almost all of his friends returned their quarters. Christa and Ymir were long gone almost an hour ago, Connie had to escort Sasha and then Jean to their quarters since both of them were totally wasted. Near the end of the party Bertolt, Reiner and Annie also excused themselves so only Armin, Mikasa and him –and a bunch of couples who seem not to recognize the party has been ended- remain. Both Mikasa and Armin offered to join him but he politely turned them down, none of them were insisted anyways.

So now, there he is, in his formal dress and hands are in his pocket, walking around the Scouting Legion’s HQ, his mind is nowhere in particular. The weather outside is chilly and cold breeze sometimes licks his face but he doesn’t mind that at all.

His mind still felt a bit dizzy from all the alcohol and with every breeze brushes his face he felt more awake.

He doesn’t know what makes him raise his head up and notice the only lighted room’s window.

He doesn’t realize he has stopped when he recognizes Mikasa’s face behind the said window.

She couldn't see him because of all the shadows surround him though he could see her clearly. Still, in her long black dress, arms hugging herself tightly. Her eyes focus on a distant point of somewhere in the forest lying in front of her .

Eren was about to wave to her - to get her attention, but something made him freeze on the spot.

Once she was alone and the second another pair of arms are hugging her from behind.

Eren watches in shock as his corporal, still in his formal dress except for the cravat he was wearing earlier on that night, presses his body to the girl’s and begins to kiss the crook of her neck.

The shock becomes terror once Eren realizes Mikasa didn’t pull back and punched the older man in the face as he would have expected.

On the contrary, she leans on him even more.

Even in that distant Eren could see a ghostly smile on her perfectly shaped lips.

Her hand covers his briefly before she bits her bottom lip and reaches to close the thick curtains – hiding them and whatever they are doing right now from the outside world and prying eyes.

Eren felt his stomach drop.


	2. Chapter 2

Sasha was walking with fast steps along the almost deserted corridor. She spun her head around to look her back every now and then. Her hands tightly concealed in her pockets. 

She could feel the still-warm bread in her left palm. Once she reached her room she could eat it with the cheese she ‘borrowed’ from the kitchen that morning. The thought alone was enough to make her salivate and she started taking faster steps. 

When she reached her room she quickly glanced around one more time – hand wrapping around the door’s knob. No one seemed to be aware of her. _Perfect._

She grinned and pushed the door. 

It didn’t open. 

Her grin vanished and she pushed harder. It felt as though there was something behind the door that kept it from opening. Frustrated, and panicking that she would get caught, she shouldered the door. This time she managed to open it ajar, at least now she could take a glance inside. Her eyes roamed the room trying to figure out what dared to keep her from her quick snack before dinner. 

She quickly found out that, that thing was a Mikasa Ackerman - who choose to sit right in front of the door. 

“Mikasa?!” Sasha exclaimed, surprised by the other girl’s preferences of where to sit and eager to get in so she could eat before anybody noticed her absence from the kitchen. 

“Mikasa!” she whispered again, this time furious. She was trying to get the attention of the girl who was hugging herself on the floor, face hidden in her legs, without alerting the by-passers on the process. Mikasa ( _finally!)_ raised her face a bit as if she just noticed somebody kept hitting her back with the door. She turned to look and Sasha froze. 

Mikasa’s eyes were red and buffy. Her face was wet and fresh tears kept forming in her eyes. 

“Mi – Mikasa! What happened?” Sasha exclaimed, now trying to enter the room for a whole different reason. 

_ Something made Mikasa Ackerman cried?!  _

“Mikasa, let me in!” she whispered again as two soldiers were passing by behind her, and Mikasa’s face wrinkled in agony. Regardless she raised to her feet and allowed Sasha in. 

“Mikasa what happened?” she asked frantically once she was in the room, closing the door behind her back. She rushed to Mikasa and hold her hands. Apparently, that was the wrong thing to do because Mikasa let out a sob and hold onto Sasha’s arms with her dear life. 

“Oh, Sasha! I’m so stupid!” 

“Mikasa?”

“How could I let this happened?” 

“Let what happened? Mikasa, you are scaring me!” but the girl buried her face to her chest and continued to sob as if someone was tearing her flesh apart. 

* * *

_ A Day Before… _

She woke up with a smile on her face. Breathing deeply the fresh scent of the sheets surrounded her, stretching her arms above her head. 

“Finally awake, are we?” 

Her smile got wider as she turned towards the source of the voice. Levi was standing by the bed, buttoning up his shirt. Her smile dropped. 

“Why are you getting dressed?”

“Tch. That’s usually what people do before they leave their privacy.” He said without stopping his task.

“Oh, really? That’s when you get dressed?” she deadpanned and his eyes shot up to meet hers.

“I even got showered.” He said with a low voice. _That midget._ He was teasing her, she knew. Recently he had discovered how much she liked when he was the one that shampooed her hair. 

And doing other stuff under the spraying water. 

Still, she chose to pretend like she didn’t understand what he was hinting at. 

“Well, that’s good for you. You stank booze.” She said with an indifferent tone and draw the sheets to her nose, turning to her side. She felt the mattress collapsed under his weight as he joined her in bed. On his knees to avoid wrinkling his shirt. 

Levi pressed feather-light kisses to her bare shoulder and neck and how could she manage to keep her façade at that? She turned on her back grabbing his shoulders to draw him in a proper kiss. If he minded of her creasing his shirt, he didn’t say anything. 

“Good morning.” She whispered to his lips when they broke up to catch their breath. 

“Morning.” He replied nudging her nose with his. 

“What time is it?”

“It’s still pretty early, don’t worry. I have a meeting with Erwin before breakfast.” 

_ Ah, yeah. _ The higher-ups’ meetings regarding to find sponsors to support Survey Corps became a regular thing for the past few weeks. He moved away from her and got out of the bed and she missed his warmth instantly. 

She still had some time before going back to her dorm and pretended like she was there the whole night. That was a routine she got accustomed over the last few months. Yet if he wasn’t there with her there was no point to stick around in his room. She got up throwing the sheet off of herself. Levi turned to look at her fixing his tie at the same time. 

“You can shower in here.” As a captain, he had a room with a private bathroom. A real blessing in the military, especially for a clean-freak like him. 

“Thanks.” she murmured but she would prefer to go back to her room before anyone woke up early by chance. She started strolling around the room, naked, trying to gather her things from wherever they threw them last night. She found her bra under the bed and her dress on the edge of the couch, barely hanging there. She was well aware he was watching him with a keen eye but she didn’t look at his way. 

Still, she made an effort to put a good show for him. 

When she was done she turned looked and noticed that she was successful by the look on his face. 

“I will be going then.” He said a little hoarsely and grabbed the handle of his door. 

“See you, _captain_ ” she replied, the slightly mocking tone she put on his title was barely there. Still, he turned to frown at her. She cracked a smile and he dropped the handle, strode towards her. She was confused for a second but then he cupped her face and kissed her, hard. 

“Brat.” He whispered to her lips as she tried to control her breathing and let go of her face. She opened her eyes at the gentle clicking sound of the door. He was gone. 

* * *

Mikasa glanced toward Levi from where she was seated in the mess hall. He usually ate his breakfast with the squad but due to his stretching meetings with Erwin, nowadays he started to eat with the commander and Hange instead. 

Her attention on feign-disinterest-but-watch-Levi-like-a-hawk was distracted by Sasha who was pocketing a piece of bread. She looked around suspiciously and made eye contact with Mikasa, grinned at her as if nothing had happened. Mikasa resisted the urge to sigh and focused on sipping her tea instead. Seconds later she saw Jean, Connie and Armin entered the hall, minus Eren. 

“Morning.” Connie greeted them with a yawn. His eyes were bloodshot, a reminder of all the alcohol he consumed last night. They all murmured their greetings as the boys seated themselves. 

“Where is Eren?” Mikasa asked Armin who was sitting across from her. His eyebrows draw together. 

“Actually, I assumed he would be there. Has he never been here?” Shooking her head it was Mikasa’s time to draw her eyebrows together. 

“I’m sure he overslept, Mikasa,” Armin replied as he sliced his bread. 

“I bet he is. He drank quite much last night.” Jean chipped in and mouthed a forkful of eggs. Their plates rattled as Connie’s head fell on to the table. He immediately jerked back up and declared, “I’m awake!”

“Oi, brats!” Their heads snapped toward the voice altogether, and Mikasa had to put off an actual effort for not staring at him because on his way to their table from his he put _that_ olive-colored trench coat on. The official uniform of their branch. The one that had the wings of freedom embroidered on its back. 

“Finish your breakfast and report to the training field in five minutes. Mike would be in charge of you today.”

As he talked Connie start holding his right hand to his ear, mumbling something suspiciously like ‘stop yelling’. Apparently, Levi heard, because as soon as he stopped talking to them he put a hand on Connie’s shoulder.

“You heard that Springer?” His voice was a tiny bit higher than before and Connie gritted his teeth together as he nodded furiously. Mikasa hid her smirk into her teacup. Levi’s attention was back on them.

“Where is Eren?” They shared looks at his question. “Tch, Kristen go wake up the Titan-princess. Others, you have three minutes left.” And with a quick last glance at Mikasa, which made her stomach do a backflip, he turned around and joined the waiting Erwin and Hange at the entrance. As soon as he reached them, the trio took off, no wonder to participate in another meeting in the capital. Since she had never paid attention to it before Mikasa had no idea how long these meetings were going to last - she just wished them to be over soon. 

With a sigh that she couldn’t suppress this time, she rose from her seat and as a squad, they made their way to the training field. 

* * *

Connie stumbled back and tripped on his on foot. When he fell to the ground on his back Mikasa’s wooden knife was already pointed to his neck. He raised his hand as a gesture of surrender and Mikasa drew back. 

“Good job, Mikasa” Mike called out from where he was watching and then turned his attention to Sasha as she was wrestling with Armin and almost pocked him in the eye with her wooden knife. 

“… is your problem anyway!” her attention wandered towards the newcomers as Jean was shouting while he moved around his hands furiously. 

“Get off me!” Eren yelled back at him and pushed Jean so hard that he almost ended up on his ass. 

“Hey, you bastard!” Jean spluttered before launching himself on Eren. 

“Eren!”

“Eren! Stop!”

“Hey! Hey! Stop that in that instant!” 

Mikasa and Armin rushed toward the duo that was now wrestling on the ground as Mike run past them. He harshly pulled the two away from each other by the collar and stepped in between. 

“What the hell is your problem?!” Mike demanded. 

“He kept being a little bitch even though I took the trouble to wake his lazy ass!” 

“I said shut up already and get off my dick!” Eren would launch himself on Jean again if Mike wasn’t there to hold him back. 

“I will sho-!”

“Enough!” Mike’s roar seemed to make them realize that they were fighting in front of a superior officer as they both stopped and took a step back. “I can’t accept this sort of behavior! First, you are going to take 8 laps around the quarters and then you are going to shovel horse shit for two weeks!” 

“Bu – but!”

“Three weeks!” Mike cut whether Jean had to say about his punishment and both him and Eren saluted their superior officer before beginning their punishment. Mike turned around and saw that the whole squad watching the events unfolding before their eyes.

“Go back to your own business. Right. Now.” he practically growled at them and it was somewhat worse than him yelling. They saluted him and paired up again, Mikasa and Armin with each other conveniently. 

“Armin, what was that?” Mikasa asked him keeping her voice low so that Mike wouldn’t hear them. 

“I don’t know,” Armin whispered back shooting a quick glance at Mike “He seemed fine yesterday. Did something happen last night?” 

“Oi, you too! Shut up and practice!” at Mike’s order they stopped speculating and proceed with their training, both of their minds were far places. 

* * *

Since the duo was still running their laps the squad had decided to go to lunch without them. She couldn’t explain why but had this irritating feeling on her stomach that seemed to get inflating like a balloon with every passing minute. As if something very bad was going to happen. 

Mikasa shook her head in an attempt to clear her head and took a deep breath on their way to the mess hall. Armin turned to look at her questioningly but didn’t make a comment. 

They sat at their usual table to eat their food and aside from Armin and herself the rest of the group went on their day as usual. They were joking around and talking mundane things as they were eating their mashed potatoes – at the end of the day, a fighting Eren and Jean was not a rare sight to see. 

Their lunch had already finished and they had decided to have their teas outside since it was a nice day when Eren appeared in the entrance with Jean following not from far behind. Apparently, their anger still didn’t cool off as they looked at each other sharply before going to sit at different tables. Jean came to join them as Eren chose a table that was on the other side of the hall. 

“Tch, that suicidal bastard!” Jean put his tray down to table with a force as Armin and Mikasa pushed past him to check on Eren. 

He didn’t look at them when they approached his table, where he ate alone. Although they could say he was aware of their presence by the way how his shoulders tensed up. They sat down quietly and there was something odd with the whole situation. Eren tended to get angry quite frequently and got into fights with Jean all the time, yet he was always eager to badmouth Jean to them after those said fights, to justify his points. He never had ignored them before as he did right now. 

Mikasa and Armin glanced at each other, both were at a loss of words. 

The balloon swelled up a bit more in Mikasa’s stomach. 

“E – Eren, are you okay?” Armin finally decided to bite the bullet that Mikasa was grateful for. 

“Yeah,” Eren replied as he shoved a piece of bread on his mouth. He didn’t look at them once since they came in here. 

“Did something happen? Did Jean said something to bother you?” 

“That horse-face mere existence is enough to bother me!” he turned his body towards was Jean was sitting at and yelled loud enough for Jean to hear him. A muffled ‘fuck off’ from Jean reached their ears.

“What happened then? You seemed fine before, has something happened last night?” as Armin came to the end of his question, and at the mention of last night, Eren dropped his spoon from his now shaky hands and into his soup. 

“Eren, are you okay?” Mikasa bolted forward to check on him but Eren raised his head to look at her with such a look that made Armin gasp and her freeze on her spot. Never in her life before she had seen Eren looking at her like that. His green eyes were full of rage… and something else that she couldn’t quite put a finger on and it was as though he was cutting her skin just by the intensity of it. 

“Eren?” she whispered because she couldn’t dare to raise her voice higher than that. He inhaled sharply from his nose and bolted up from his seat, knocking over a glass of water in the process. 

He didn’t say anything and didn’t look at her again as he was making his way out of the hall, leaving a dumbfounded Armin and Mikasa behind. 

“D-Did something happens between you two?” Armin asked after a few seconds, clearly as shocked as she was. She could only shake her head as she was still looking at the entrance with wide, transfixed eyes. 

“Are you sure Mikasa? He was not at the breakfast today and we didn’t see him until now… Do you remember anything specific that might put him on edge?” 

Her eyebrows were drawn together as she was concentrated, trying to remember what might had happened between last night and now. They didn’t interact today at all, until now so if she did something it must had been before this morning. They had been at the party and having a good time. He had said he would have a walk before going back to the basement where he slept and that had been the last time she saw him before she had sneaked out with Levi to his room. Suddenly, her heart skipped a beat. 

_ Did he see us going to Levi’s room? _

But no, there was no chance. Levi had made sure there was no one around and her own instincts weren’t anywhere near ordinary – she would have sensed if there had been someone around. 

_ But you were drinking.  _

The sinister voice in her head whispered and bile moved up to her mouth from her stomach at the possibility of being seen – by Eren nonetheless. 

_ NO! _ Even though both she and Levi had been drinking they weren’t that gone to not notice a set of eyes upon them. No, there was no chance. None at all. She turned to look at Armin who was watching her carefully, waiting for an answer. She took a deep breath.

“Nothing’s happened. The last time I have seen him was last night before he went for a walk – we have been together.” 

Armin nodded before sighing. 

“Well, I guess we will have to wait for him to cool off.” He then smiled at her worried expression.

“Don’t worry, Mikasa. It just… Eren.” He said as if that was an explanation. She understood him nonetheless. 

They both turned to look at the door he had vanished. 

* * *

Eren wasn’t at the dinner and the anticipation was eating her away. The balloon took a residence in her stomach since that morning and it kept her from eating her dinner. She was playing with the beans on her plate with her fork when Sasha slowly scooted over her, asking if she was going to eat them. She gave up on her plate to Sasha, who was eating her leftover food, appetent.

Mikasa made eye contact with Armin and they both nodded as they got up on their feet to go look for Eren, bidding their goodnights to the people at the table. 

He was at where they thought he would be – in his dungeon-bedroom. At least he wasn’t locked up anymore in the cell and there was no one to watch him over as he slept – since Erwin had decided he was an ally to humanity. 

There was something off with him, still. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, arms on his knees, hands folded and head bowed down. 

“Eren?” Armin called out to Eren, and he didn’t seem surprised by the voice. He must had heard them coming down. 

“Would you give us a minute, Armin?” Eren asked and both Armin and Mikasa were taken aback by how cold his voice was. For a second they both stood where they were, perfectly still, until Armin snapped out of it. He nodded, even though only Mikasa was able to see it and he gave her an encouraging smile as he made his way to the stairs. 

Mikasa could feel the energy cracking up between them. The tension was so dense that she thought if she had a knife could cut it in half. Her whole body tensed up as though she was on the battlefield. Eren didn’t say anything nor he met with her eyes. His head was still bowed down and finally, she couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Eren?” she said his name to get his attention and he took a shaky breath as if he was trying to control himself. 

“What is wrong? Did I do something?” she asked desperately, ready to apologize for whatever she made to put him in that state. Eren might got angry quickly, but he wouldn’t the type to hold a grudge. 

“I’m sorry if I did something t-“

“Did you do something?” Eren repeated her previous question without raising his head and she stopped in her mid-question. 

“I don’t know Mikasa, did you do something?” he practically spat the words and raised his head to look at her directly in the eye and the hatred in his own was enough to take her breath away.

“Why, Mikasa?” he asked when she didn’t say anything. He rose to his feet and took a step towards her, getting out of his cell. The energy was radiating off of him.

“Why did you do that?” he raised his voice a little and grabbed the edge of her scarf. 

“W- What did I do? What are you talking about?!”

“Don’t pretend as if you don’t know!”

“Well, I don’t know! What hap-“

“Why are you fucking Levi behind my back?!” he yelled at her and tugged her scarf hard enough for its to unwrapped from her neck. Her tender skin was suddenly exposed to the cool air of the dungeon. She barely noticed any of that though. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest and she could feel her face, her whole body, heating up with embarrassment. 

_ He knows! _

She looked down couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eye anymore. 

“How do you know?” she asked with a low voice, more to herself than to him but he heard her anyway. His face contracted and it was as though he was trying not to throw up. 

“I saw you.” He said through gritted teeth and she swore her stupidity. She had to be more careful, maybe shouldn’t even had gone to Levi’s room when they had been both a bit tipsy and not in their sharpest. But the alcohol had made everything hazy and she hadn’t been able to bring herself to even care. 

Eren scoffed, bringing her to the dungeon with him and away from her thoughts. 

“You are not even going to deny it.” He said and it was a statement. She finally rose her head to look at his face. He was staring down at her with a look she thought he was hoping to be mocking but came out more like a grimace. Her eyes slowly met his and there was dampness in his eyes that made her own eyes stung. 

“Eren.” She said and she felt tears began to flow on her cheeks. He took a step back, taking the scarf with him. 

“Get out.” He growled lowly. His hair fell on his face, covering his eyes, preventing her from seeing them. 

“Eren.” She said again, this time she took a step toward him, stretching her arm to hold his. He jerked back before she could reach him. 

“I said get OUT!” he roared so suddenly that she jumped. Still, she wasn’t someone who gave up easily so she collected herself immediately and sprang toward him, she would make him listen to her. She would fix this mess between them, right here, right now - even if that was the last thing she did. She was about to try to hold him again when he adjusted her scarf on his hands and –

_ He tore it apart.  _

She took a startled breath. Her movements halted as her whole body went rigid. 

_ No, there is no way.  _

“Eren,” she said shakily and somehow she managed to load all her shock, her disbelief, her _despair_ into his name _._ Eren was having none of it though, he looked at her with eyes that held no emotion. 

“Get out.” He said, determined and turned to enter his cell again. 

The barred door slammed in her face sharply. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw! You were all so kind and encouraging which is what push me to write this chapter instead of focusing on my essays! Lol! Well, now this story has become a multi-chaptered one, I don't know how it happened don't ask me! I hope you enjoy it!! Let me know what you think if you have time!


	3. Chapter 3

When Levi arrived at the headquarters alongside Hange and Erwin, it was already past midnight. He had a headache due to all the talk and all the listening of Hange and Erwin’s ass-kissing of noblemen he had to endure. _Tch, what a pain_. 

The trio made their way to Erwin’s office in silence. Getting rid of their coats as Erwin poured them all a glass of whiskey. He sat down behind his huge oak desk as Hange and Levi took the seats in front of it. Levi immediately put his legs on the coffee table that was between his and Hange’s chairs as Hange leaned her side against the desk, stretching her legs in front. Erwin gulped down his whole glass and put it down as he exhaled loudly. Finally, he broke the silence.

“That went well.” 

Hange let out a non-committal grunt and Levi took a sip from his drink instead of talking. Both knew that Erwin wasn’t talking about the potential sponsors, oh no. He had other things in mind, as he always did, concealed behind fancy causes like finding support to regain Wall-Maria. One of them happened to be stopping one of the biggest _, and deadliest_ , crime rings operating behind the Wall-Sina and even underneath it, the underground city. 

Three of them were trying to keep tags on the person behind all of this, Bobby Warfield, an old fat rat that happened to be a respected noble, who also had close relations with the crown and the king himself, unsurprisingly. If they were to get caught while trying to corrupt his crime ring, not only their heads would be freed from their bodies but also the whole legion would put under the risk of being dispelled. Yeah, no pressure at all. 

And they would turn a blind eye to his activities, like the King was doing right now and had done in the past, multiple times. However, an insider had reported that the next target on the list was quite familiar, having blond hair, and bushy eyebrows. The commander of the Survey Corps somewhat managed to put himself on the ring’s list, and instead of waiting for his name to be crossed over, they decided to take the matters in hand and solved the problem from its core. Namely, exposed Warfield in a way even the Crown couldn’t deny his crimes, according to some complicated plan Erwin had made anyways. 

If it were to Levi, he would have just ‘disposed’ of the guy, like he did all the filthy things like _trash_ , but Erwin was always the more diplomatic one. So they started their ‘campaign’ under the disguise of trying to find sponsors for the legion, during the long meetings they tried to get closer to the Warfield because, _keep your enemies closer, after all,_ and to make it easier to expose the guy later-on as they would have had a connection with him via their sponsorship. As if, they discovered his dirty secrets during the time of his supports. Luckily, he was also trying to find a way to get closer to Erwin so he literally jumped at their open arms. 

Levi finished his drink up and put the glass back on the table. Hange was stretching her arms above her head as he was raising on his feet, picking up his coat. He believed he reached the limit of seeing their faces for the day. 

“If that is all Erwin…” he didn’t finish the sentence but indicated he wanted to leave if there was nothing else by turning his body toward the door. 

“One last thing, Levi,” came Erwin’s voice as he started digging up through one of the drawers of his desk. _Of course_. There was always one last thing with Erwin Smith. 

He pulled up a thick document and hold it up to Levi. 

“Hange and I already read it, but we thought you might want to take a look at it as well,” Erwin said as Levi took at the file from his hand and started flipping the pages, his coat placed on the crook of his bent arm. 

_Names_. It was filled up with names and some information neatly written down next to each of them.

Lyanna Salivon – Murdered in 16, in the attempt of her kidnapping. 

Urwin Teador – Missing since 15. Witness reports on him sold to a brothel near Wall-Sina. 

Gwen Hoyd – Kidnapped in 17, sold to the brothel, _the Curtains_.

Levi raised his head to look at Erwin’s face; his own was screwed up with a disgusted look. Erwin breathed out.

“Yes, those are the reported victims of Bobby.” 

“You should have let me kill him.” Levi slammed shut the file and swallowed the bitter taste filled in his mouth. _This fucking psycho._

“You know my methods and the reasons behind them. We have been over them since this last month.” 

Hange signed from her chair, unusually quiet, as the two men looked at each other for a long second. Levi nodded once. 

“I will trust you with this one, Erwin.” 

* * *

When he returned to his room, he let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. For a moment, he just closed his eyes as he rested his back against his door. He could feel the headache got worse. 

_I shouldn’t have drunk that whiskey._

And the latest discovery of the ‘names’ didn’t do him any good either. He threw the file on his desk non-too-gently and started undressing. After taking a very quick, but very efficient shower he let himself lied down on his bed. Arms stretched and eyes focused on the ceiling. He took a deep breath and the sweet smell of flowers invade his nostrils. 

_Mikasa._

He turned his face to look at the empty space beside him. The girl’s scent was faint but it was there. Enough to make his stomach clenched with longing. 

He had missed her during the day. 

He was well aware of that as her face kept popping up in his mind eye during the most unexpected moments. The memory of her had been the only thing that had helped him got through this day (alongside warm black tea because the nobles might be pigs but they knew how to brew tea). The memory of her hair, her eyes, her pretty little mouth and how it popped open in a silent scream when he- 

He stopped that train of thought before things could get out of hand. His body already felt warmer. 

He turned his whole body and buried his face to his, _her_ , pillow. He was taking slow deep breaths, savoring the scent left there by the raven-haired woman. 

Within a few minutes, he fell asleep. 

* * *

He couldn’t make it to the breakfast in the morning since Erwin, once again, summoned him for an early morning meeting in which he debriefed the others about their progress, namely Mike and Nanaba. After the meeting, he decided to read the thick-ass file Erwin had dumped on him the other night, wanting no _need_ to know all the victims Warfield had had.

It was raining when he marked the place he was in, though feeling nauseated he decided to go to lunch even if it was just for seeing Mikasa across the hall. He entered the mess hall and saw that his team still didn’t make it. He decided to pour himself a cup of tea while waiting for them to show up when he noticed an all exited Hange was waving at him, spastically. 

“Levii! Oi, Levi!” 

A sigh. Thinking (hoping) this might be about their new ‘operation’ (and not about titan science or some other crazy shit Hange loved to blabber about), he made a beeline for the table she was currently occupying. 

“What is it shitty four eyes?” 

“I see you are in a good mood Levi!” he sent her a sharp look that indicated all but a good mood. She chuckled. 

“Why don’t you sit? I could use some company.” 

“Is it about the operation?” he asked as he sat down on the chair in front of her. 

“Huh? No, but it was about something more interesting” she leaned toward him across the table and whispered like a conspiracist, “Something more important.”

As it had turned out Hange’s more ‘important case’ was about her latest speculations on Titans teething processes. Levi already had a hand on his forehead tried to fight the headache he felt was coming when he saw her squad entered the hall. And one glance at them was enough for him to understand that something was _off._

They looked tensed, almost charged by it. Sasha and Jean kept looking at Mikasa who had her head down and scarf off. _Interesting._

Eren came the last to the hall and didn’t make a point to follow his squad like he always had. Instead, he departed from them and sat on a table that was far away from their usual one. _Huh._

He could see Armin was sending worried glances between him and Mikasa. He turned to look at the letter one; clearly, they had a fight like _always,_ it was probably about something Mikasa had said about Eren’s diet ( _you should eat more Eren_ ) or how he kept pushing himself on the training ground ( _I think Eren should spar with me instead of him, sir_ ). At least that was what he was saying to himself yet knowing that that wasn’t just it. Not this time. Eren had never need to separate from Mikasa before, or the squad for that matter.

Mikasa raised her head to look at the room and when their eyes met she immediately bowed her head again, hastily going to sit on between Sasha and Jean. Blocking all the ways he could sit near her. 

He rose from the seat as Hange was suddenly cut off mid- talking, surprised, he didn’t even notice she was still chatting, one-sidedly.

“That’s enough titans for me today,” he simply said as a farewell and took off to check on his squad, trying to understand what the hell was wrong with them. He heard Hange’s wailings after him as he made his way towards them. 

“Captain!” Conny was the first one to see him approached and spring on his feet to salute him as the others followed his lead. 

“At ease.” He said and took his usual seat on the table. 

“How were the meetings, sir?” Jean asked from his right. 

“Could have been better, but we had managed to find two sponsors.” One of which would be executed once they exposed them, but they didn’t need to know that yet. 

“Does it mean the legion will have more income, sir?” Sasha peaked up from her seat, eyes sparkling. 

“The income is for expeditions, not for more food,” Levi answered as he understood the reason behind her excitement. She slumped back on her seat. Connie and Jean started teasing him as he kept looking at Mikasa who didn’t raise her head to face him again. She wasn’t eating either. 

“Where is Jeager?” he asked watching how tense Mikasa’s shoulders immediately got. _Of course_. 

“Um… I guess he prefers to eat alone, sir.” Armin supplied. 

“Oh?” Levi raised one eyebrow as Mikasa was still staring at her peas. 

“Why is that? What happened?” he asked for clarifications as he saw them hesitating to fill him up.

“They had a sort of argument with Jean yesterday,” Sasha mumbled.

“For the last time, I didn’t do anything! That bastard was looking for a fight!” Jean started defending himself immediately. Levi turned around to look at Eren far across the hall. Like Mikasa, he wasn’t eating but chose to stare at his plate as if it was the most fascinating thing. Levi turned his face to the table. 

“Ackerman?” he asked, and she almost jumped. Slowly, she raised her head and looked at his face, anywhere but his eyes. 

“Sir?” she almost whispered, and this time both of his eyebrows raised. _What the hell had happened?_ She cleared her throat. 

“Do you know something about Yeager’s attitude?” 

“No, sir.” Her voice came a bit stronger but she still didn’t look at him in the eye. _That’s it_. 

“Meet me in my office after you’re done with your lunch.” He said, demanding, and got out of his seat. As he was exiting the hall he turned to look at his left on reflex, feeling someone was looking at him, and as he did his eyes met with Eren’s green ones. It was as if he was trying to throw daggers at him. 

* * *

When she knocked on his door, he was reading Erwin’s thick-ass file (that was the name for it he had come up within his head). 

“Come in,” he called out and she entered the office, shoulders straight and feet planted on the floor as always, strong. But her eyes were still refusing to meet with his, which made his left eye to twitch. He gestured her to sit down believing that she would still be able to see. She did. 

“So, what is that about?” he asked, voice void of motion even though there was this queasy feeling in his stomach. She took a shaky breath. 

“Mikasa?” his voice was sharp in an attempt to shake her off this state of hers and made to look at him, hopefully. He succeeded. She raised her head to look at him, and to his horror, tears were already pooled in her eyelids. His hands twitched in an attempt to reach her but he held them back with a herculean effort. First, they need to resolve whatever the problem was. 

“What is it?” he might have prevented his hands but he was still human – his voice had come out all soft and tender. 

“Oh, Levi,” she said and tears fell on her cheeks freely. She wiped her nose with the back of her hand, and he fished out a handkerchief from his pocket. Couldn’t make himself to criticize her on her hygiene habits at the moment. She accepted it and blew her nose. 

“Mikasa, what is it?” she didn’t answer as she tried to compose herself, breathing in and out controlled yet shaky breaths. As he was about to ask again, this time more forcefully she talked. 

“He knows.” He blinked. _Who knows?_ and _Who knows what?_ But before he could open his mouth again she continued. 

“Eren, he knows. He saw us on the night of the celebration party.” She explained, and fresh tears poured down. She wiped them off with the unused part of his handkerchief even though new ones were already forming. 

“So?” Suddenly, he was beyond irritated. Her head whipped to the side to look at him. 

“So?” she parroted, unbelieving.

“I don’t care if he knows. Or anyone else on that matter.” He said calmly, and he really did not. Sure, Erwin would have something to say on this affair, but Erwin had something to say on everything, and relationships between soldiers are not _that_ uncommon in the military. Still, Levi knew this was not about what the Commander might say about their relationship, or anyone else. _Other than Eren_ , that was. 

“How could you say that?” she whispered. 

“Since when you cared about who knows about your affairs, Mikasa? It is not anyone’s business.” 

“I don’t” she defended but became silent almost immediately eyes were wide. Just like him, she knew this wasn’t about anyone who might learn about their relationship. It was about Eren learning about their relationship. He could feel the twitch in his eyes started getting worse. She was still looking at him with those doe-like eyes that he adored, almost out of breath. He knew she was hurt, and he knew it was going to hurt himself too if he kept continued – and because he was a masochist, he did continue. 

He gave out a humorless chuckle. 

“But this wasn’t about that is it Mikasa? You are whining like a little girl because it was your precious Eren who saw us, and now you are upset because you think he might never want you the same way that you want him.” A beat as she took in what he had said.

“Levi,” her voice was not higher than a whisper, pleading him to stop, and he would have stopped if they would have this conversation a while back, a long while back. He would have stopped because he just wanted her, ready to accept whatever she was willing to offer even though she was in love with _someone else_. Even though she was imagining _someone else_ when she was with him in his bed, as pathetic as that sound. But not anymore. 

Doubting that she might have thought of _someone else_ when he was making love to her was too painful to bear now. Too painful that he stopped thinking about it for a while until now. Shoving the doubt deep down back on his mind whenever it was to raise its ugly head. Seeing her falling apart now, because of _someone else_ , was worse than the nightmares that had kept him awake before she had started to sleep with him in his bed. 

“You need to make up your mind Mikasa,” 

“What?” she asked confused. 

“If you want Jeager then go to him. If you want him then pursue him instead of fucking me almost every night.” 

“It is not like that!” she claimed but he could see the uncertainty in her eyes. He could see she was mulling it over in her head, and it hurt more than it had a right to. 

“Decide.” He said with finality in his voice. _Decide because I can’t live like this anymore._

“Levi, I – I have known him since I was a child. It is...It’s _Eren?_!” she said as if that was explaining something. And it was. 

“It seems to me you have already decided.” _There was nothing to decide on anyways,_ he mused, bitterly, _there has never been another option than Eren_. 

“I can’t abandon him,” she said and he nodded. 

“You are dismissed.” 

She froze for a second, opened her mouth as if she was going to say something, eyes were still as wide as the first time he had talked since she stepped into his office. Finally, she snapped her mouth shut, and with a solemn salute, she left his office. 

* * *

Armin hesitated as he stood at the beginning of the stairs that led to Eren’s basement. He had been cold as ice during the day, and Armin knew that was something to do with his request to stay alone with Mikasa the other night, Mikasa who had been acting like a ghost all day and, like Eren, hadn’t even shown up to dinner that evening. 

The weirdest part, he decided, was that he had never seen them staying away from each other that long of a time before, sure they were bickering and fighting (or more precisely Eren kept yelling and Mikasa kept listening, silent) all the time, but all those fights ended after Eren had gotten whatever was on his chest out. And even if the problem was bigger, and Eren withdrew into his shell Mikasa marched down to him and wouldn’t leave until they were all good again. 

This was something different, and scary. _Mikasa didn’t come to talk to him._ For the first time in their friendship, Armin was afraid that they would not be able to mend things between them. 

He took a deep breath and started descending. Turning to his left, he could see the basement’s barred door was open. There was no talking. So either the two of them were just staring at each other, or Mikasa really was not here. He gulped. 

“Eren?” he called out his name as he was making his way toward his cell. A sigh answered him.

“Over here.” 

Armin entered his best friend’s battered cell of a room and found him sitting like he had the other night, arms on his knees and head bowed down. _Déjà vu._

“You weren’t at the dinner,” A statement. Eren shrugged one shoulder as much as possible in his position. 

“So was Mikasa,” Armin continued and watched as his friend’s shoulders got tensed. 

“So?” he spat, venomous. Like Mikasa was a titan. An enemy. Armin’s hands became two balls of fists. 

“What is it, Eren?” he asked, angry “What did she do? Tell you to take care of yourself? Try to give you some extra food even if that means she would get less? What a horrible crime! Let’s hate her altogether!” 

Eren raised his head, slowly, and his eyes were two fierce jades. Burning. Armin took a step back.

“You want to know what she did? Fine, I will tell you! She was sleeping with our dear captain for this whole time! Probably, out fucking him again which made her forget all about the dinner time!” as he yelled he got out from the edge of his bed and started walking towards Armin. His hands were the ones that became fists this time, as Armin’s got to loosen up. Shocked. 

“She – Captain – What!?” Eren snorted although it was clear that he didn’t find any of this funny. His face was still contracted with rage. He turned around and started pacing through his cell, hands on his hair. Armin took a few deep breaths as his brain tried to process all this. In and out. 

“That was why you were so angry? That she didn’t tell us?” he asked. 

“Yes! No! I don’t know!” Eren said as he kept pacing. 

“W- Well, I could kind of see why she didn’t tell us.” Armin tried and Eren stopped, turning to look at him so sudden that his neck cracked. 

“What?” disbelief was evident in his voice as much as it was in his eyes. 

“I mean, he was a captain – a higher up. Their relationship would be frowned upon.” His voice grew weaker by the looks Eren was giving him. 

“What?” Armin asked weakly. Eren shook his head.

“It wasn’t that she didn’t tell us. It was the whole thing! How could she slept with… him?” he spat the last word. 

“Who would you prefer her to sleep with?” Armin watched Eren flinching. 

“I- I don’t –“ 

“Eren, are you in love with Mikasa?”

 _“What!?”_ this time Eren was looking at Armin as though he had lost his mind. 

“Are you in love with Mikasa? Or I don’t know… feel anything… romantic toward her?” he refused to back down. 

“I don’t – What?” Eren’s eyes were wide but not for the impossibility of this suggestion. 

“You just now realized that might be the reason why you are so angry, aren’t you?” Armin smiled despite the annoyance he felt. _How thick-headed could you be, Eren?_

“Armin…” Eren whispered, waiting for him to solve this problem in front of him.

Like he always did.

But Armin knew better.

Like he always did. He shook his head. 

“Are you jealous because Mikasa’s attention isn’t solely on you anymore, which is something totally new? Did you confuse your brotherly feelings for her with something else _because_ it’s new? Or are you in love with her? I’m sorry Eren, but that is something you need to figure out alone. And you need to think it very thoroughly for not your sake only but for Mikasa’s too.”

They stared at each other for a while in the deafening silence followed after Armin’s speech. 

Then Armin stepped out of his cell, leaving him alone. 

* * *

AN: I'M SORRY!


	4. Chapter 4

Mikasa was lying on her back staring at the ceiling. She would have continued to cry on Sasha’s shoulder if she wouldn’t have run out of tears a few hours ago, or if Sasha wouldn’t be sleeping at the moment on the bed beside hers. 

_ If you want Jeager then go to him. _

Did she want Eren? She thought so. At least that was how things had been since the first night they had met, the night her parents got murdered and Eren saved her from their murderers. 

_ If you want him then pursue him instead of fucking me almost every night. _

But she did pursue him, didn’t she? She pursued him all the time. Yet there was something different underneath of this proposition. 

Did she really want Eren the way she wanted Levi?

She thought of all the sweet –and painful as hell- memories she had had with Levi. All the kisses she had stolen from him in the deserted corners, all the nights they had had together – that hadn’t been about sleeping most of the time. And the talking and talking. There was just so much of talking, and kissing, and making love if they were in the mood of it instead of something more passionate and raw. 

She couldn’t imagine doing all these with Eren. 

It was not that she hadn’t had dreams of marrying Eren and having lots of kids with him. Of course, she had especially when she was a little girl - but they had been just that. She had always imagined the end result instead of the process. Even daydreams of kissing him came late to her because as a child she didn’t think kissing was something you could have done before growing up. Her only role models were her parents, and Eren’s, after all, and they were adults. When she had joined the military, she had seen people of her age fell in love and what certain _needs_ that brought to the surface oftentimes. Like kissing and having sex. That was the first time she considered the idea of kissing Eren, now that she was considered as an adult, and it had been enough to make her stomach filled with butterflies. That was why she hadn’t needed to expand her daydreams about him, kissing was satisfying enough. From time to time she had tried to imagine him doing _more_ like kissing her neck or even putting his hand to her breast. She had opened her eyes immediately when she dreamed of those. Making sure that it had only been happening on her mind eye and not for real. She tried to fall asleep after those, settled to imagine them married with a bunch of kids instead, efficiently jumping the necessary steps for them to take in order to have a kid in the first place. 

When she had first touched herself it had been a faceless man that fucked her instead of Eren. She was just too shy to think about him during that moment that she thought that she wanted to hide herself for the real deal, convinced that it would somewhat make it more special.

When the faceless man’s face had cleared into Levi’s overtime she had felt angry and ashamed… ashamed that she was incredibly aroused by that fantasy. When he had fucked her into his sheets for the first time after she gave up on trying to deny the tension that was ever-present between the two of them, she had seen the stars behind her eyelids. It had been Levi’s face looking down at her after she came back from her high just like in her re-occurring fantasies, but somewhat better. 

Choking back a sob, she closed her eyes tightly and tried to imagine Eren instead. Tried to imagine him doing things that she had only let Levi do to her. His face was a blur, and immediately after Eren’s jade green eyes left their places’ to silver-green. Hair morphed into raven black and Levi’s name climbed up on her throat. 

She tried to imagine Eren and herself aftermath instead since the _process_ had always been a failure to conjure. She tried to imagine them lying face to face on their sides in a bed, naked bodies conveniently covered up with a white sheet. But she wasn’t able to feel the same thrill that always sent a shiver through her spine when she had had been with Levi. Somewhat Levi had always managed to say things that were both surprised and amazed her, that was both clever and sarcastic. Things that made her think. And she just knew that with Eren it wouldn’t be the same. 

She tried to imagine Eren looking at her with the same expression Levi had sometimes, the one that made her heart clench and made her hold onto him just a bit tighter, totally at peace knowing that she was the safest she had ever been just because he was there, existing beside her. She felt the bile rising through her throat when the image of Eren looking at her with _that_ expression.

Somewhat, when she wasn’t paying attention, Levi had made his way under her skin. He distracted her too much that she didn’t even realize she wasn’t thinking about Eren the same way anymore, distracted her enough to keep her from realizing maybe she never had. And now that she had been forced to think about that by the recent circumstances she came to realize her love for Eren had only been a crush. Something that only a child would have. Meanwhile, her feelings for Levi was something more mature, she thought with a gulp. A woman’s love for a man, that what it was. 

_ Decide.  _

But she had had already. Long before then, she had even realized. It was not that she didn’t love Eren. She did, with all her heart. They had been bonded when he first wrapped that scarf around her neck on that faithful night. She was just too distracted to notice that she had outgrown her crush. Too distracted to notice that she now could see Eren in the light of sisterly love, as it had always meant to be. 

_ You’re dismissed.  _

There was a hole in her chest that seemed to grow even more with every second and as impossible as it seemed Mikasa Ackerman started crying once again. 

* * *

Saying that Levi was having a shitty night would have been an understatement. After returning from the dinner which tasted like nothing but ashes in his mouth, he had thrown himself to his bed. Hoping that he would have just fallen asleep and switch off from the reality he had to live in even if just for a few hours, and he had almost succeeded if it wasn’t for the fact that he hadn’t changed his sheets. The sweet smell of flowers invaded his hazy mind and all the thoughts of sleeping, _escaping_ , went off of the window. 

His eyes snapped open, body tensed, and he bolted upright on the bed, throwing the sheets off of himself. He ripped the bed linens from the duvet and the pillows, hastily taking them out of his room. He quickly undressed, put his uniform away to wash it later, and took a quick shower. Washing off any remaining scents of _her_ from his body. He might have been the strongest soldier, but he was still a human, and if were to sniff the sweet floral scent of Mikasa one more time he might do something he would have regretted later on. Like went to her quarters and made her come with him to his, telling her that it was okay even if she wanted some other man as long as she just let him had the crumps of her. 

_ Pathetic. _

He thought, angry at himself, at her, at _Jeager_ , as he was getting out of the shower. He quickly put on clean clothes that smelled nothing but soap and entered back to his room. Throwing one offended look at his bed, he made his way to his desk. Since sleep seemed to be a lost cause he might as well finished up some paperwork. After rubbing his eyes, he signed and started up his work. 

* * *

Mikasa’s eyes were red and puffy, Armin observed, as she entered the mess hall for breakfast. She immediately bowed her head down after taking a quick look at the hall and made her way to their usual spot. Armin didn’t need to follow her gaze to know who she was looking at. He had seen their captain having his breakfast with the commander, no doubt continued whatever meeting they kept having nowadays when he had first entered the hall himself. 

“Morning Mikasa” he greeted his friend among other members of their squad, minus Eren, as the girl took her place on the table, murmuring her own greetings in return. He didn’t miss the way how she wasn’t eating her breakfast but playing with it with the tip of her fork nor the non-subtle glances Sasha kept sending on Mikasa’s way. Normally Armin would think that Sasha just wanted Mikasa’s food yet the former girl wasn’t looking the way she did when she wanted someone’s food. Her glances were simply one of concern. 

“Ugh, great” he heard Jean mumbled beneath his breath beside him, and rose his glances to see the reason behind his friend’s distress. 

“Oh,” Armin let out a breath himself as he saw Eren entered the hall next looking like he hadn’t slept a bit last night. Eren took a glance at their table before looking at the other side of the hall – where he opted to sit since yesterday. He turned to look at their table again, looking torn between coming over to them and distanced himself once again. Just as his body started to turn away from them he locked eyes with Armin, and Armin saw his friend visibly gulped under his accusing stares. Eren’s shoulders collapsed as if he resigned and started to walk toward their table. Armin smiled victoriously though he made extra effort to make sure no one saw it while he listened to Jean grumblings. 

“Hey” Eren greeted them weakly causing Mikasa’s body to go rigid as their members greeted Eren, happy to see the squad together once again, finally. He sat next to Connie, shrugging to Jean who was sending questioning glances to his way, and with an indifferent huff from Jean the disagreement between the two came to an end. Armin smiled proudly at his friend when he looked at him. Eren smiled back though a bit hesitantly and took a very quick glance toward Mikasa who was still watching the patterns she was making with her fork. It was clear that they didn’t solve their problems yet not that Armin was waiting for anything different since he knocked some sense into Eren just the previous night. He was just hoping they could talk and made up and they could go back to how they used to be as soon as possible. 

* * *

Mike took over their training once again since captain Levi’s meeting had been stretched out once again. 

“You may expect to see him after lunch,” said Mike nonetheless before started timing them while they practicing slicing up dummy-titans. Mike had bölmek into two groups and was occupied with the first one at the moment, yelling over to Connie to stop trying to jeopardize Sasha as he approached Mikasa slowly. 

“Hi!” Armin said to her, smiling brightly. 

“Hey,” she greeted, doing something with her mouth that Armin suspected was meant to be a smile but couldn’t be sure. He sighed and started to cut the chase. This was the first moment he caught Mikasa alone after all. 

“Mikasa, are you okay?” 

“Yeah why wouldn’t I be?” she replied trying to seem confident but her raspy voice gave her away. 

“You didn’t eat anything at the breakfast, and you sound like a 40-year-old smoker Mikasa. D-Did you cried?”

Mikasa covered her face with her hands but before Armin could start to suspect she was crying again (which would be horrifying) she took her hands away, looking more tired then he had ever seen her. 

“I’m fine Armin,” she told him with a voice that didn’t leave any room for argument, but Armin had grown a thick skin for that kind of behavior. He was not the best friend of Eren Yeager for nothing. 

“Mikasa,” he started and lowered his voice just in case “You know you can tell me anything, right?” 

“Of course, Armin” Mikasa gazed at him, confused. They looked at each other in silence, both waiting for the other to crack open. 

“I know Eren could be stubborn and insufferable sometimes, but at the end of the day he is your family, as you are his Mikasa, and he is not just going to leave you. Especially, if you are happy.” 

The confusion in Mikasa’s eyes started turning into suspicion as he talked. 

“A-Armin..” Mikasa started and looked aside for a second, clearly measuring how much he knew and how much she could say. Finally, she turned to look at him once again and smiled apologetically. Armin smiled, reassuring. If Mikasa wasn’t ready to share her secrets with him he was not going to force her to do so. All he wanted to do for her to know that she got a friend that would be on her side, no matter what. He patted her arm and made his way back toward Jean who was watching the timer over Mike’s shoulder. 

That was the second time that day that he just wanted to go back to the simpler times. Simpler times in which his friends didn’t have secrets to keep. 

* * *

Levi left Erwin’s room at lunchtime, opting to eat with his squad instead. He was aware that staying with Erwin would be oh so convenient to avoid certain members of his squad, which was why he was on his way to meet them for lunch. That was his squad for God’s sake, and he wasn’t going to run and hide somewhere away like he was a _child_. The thought itself was annoying and made his blood boiled beneath his skin. 

He hadn’t been in a good mood all morning-long, at all. Something Erwin wisely chose to ignore after the attempted query of his well-being and almost getting his head ripped off. Two other soldiers that were unlucky enough to cross paths with him today also got their fair share of his wrath. He blamed the way too hot tea he slipped that morning, which burnt his tongue, as the reason behind his rage but he doubted neither Hange nor Erwin believed him. He already knew it was a lie. 

He had seen Eren finally blessed his squad with his presence this morning, as he assigning them to train with Mike again. 

_ He and Mikasa must make up then _ , he reasoned, or it was a close call as it was. Since one-step from Yeager would always result in ten more from Mikasa. He gritted his teeth, _Whatever_. 

She had seemed terrible, he had noticed when he first saw her that morning as she entered the mess hall, clearly lacking sleep since she must spend all night crying. Over what he was not sure, maybe she was just regretting the whole ordeal between the two of them that put space between her and her precious Yeager. He smirked humorlessly. 

Yes, he wasn’t having a good day at all, and yes he was angry. 

Angry at the hot tea, angry at Hange who had brought the tea, at Erwin because he wasn’t just shut up about Bobby Warfield, angry at Mikasa for being obsessed, at Eren for being _blind_ , but mostly he was angry at himself. Angry because he still cared. About her. So damn much. 

* * *

His squad jumped to salute him as he walked toward the table. He dismissed them with a simple wave of his hand and took his seat on the head of the table. He glanced over his squad; their faces were pink and shiny from their training. Adrenaline and sweat. 

_ Great _ , he grimaced and picked up his fork. Connie and Jean were chewing his ear off, arguing about who got the best time from Mike’s training. According to Jean, Connie was a cheating bastard; according to Connie, Jean was a whining loser. He agreed with them both with a straight face, which only made them argue even more fervently. From the other side of the table, Sasha was asking whether he would join them for their training, and how his meetings were going. 

He was answering her while nodding in affirmation when he realized how close his squad had grown closer. How at ease they were with together, confident and trusting. He smiled slightly remembering his old squad and surprised how the memory of them had left its place for a bittersweet feeling while once there was only pain. 

His smile disappeared, along with the peaceful thoughts residing on his head, once he locked eyes with Eren. The boy hastily dropped his eyes back to his plate and he took a sick pleasure from his distress. He was already ignoring the glances Mikasa kept sending on his way with herculean effort. Keeping himself from lashing out at Eren additionally would have been too much to ask, even for him. 

After lunch he sent the squad to the field, ordering them to readied their pieces of equipment for their after-lunch training, promising to meet them there. He just wanted a moment to drink his tea, which was at the perfect heat, at peace. A shadow fell over him and he looked up from his seat. Grey eyes met with onyx ones. 

“Le - ” she started and stopped immediately at his sharp look, “Captain Levi,”

She seemed agitated and fidgety. Hands behind her back respectfully, waiting for him to acknowledge her. He made a motion for her to go on with one hand and without taking his eyes off her. 

“May I speak with you? In private.” He locked his jaw together at her request, and turned to his tea, disinterested – or trying to appear to be. 

“What was it Mikasa, just say it.” 

“I can’t. Not here at least.” She lowered her voice a little, indicating that whatever she wanted to talk about wasn’t for public ears. He looked at her again, trying to see what she was on to. He couldn’t take another _I can’t abandon Eren_ speech. Her eyes were pleading, and soft, but other than that she wasn’t given anything away. He gave out a breath. Exhausted and resigned. 

“After dinner.” He told her. 

* * *

The dinner wasn’t any good but that might be because Mikasa was feeling uneasy and nauseated. 

And because Levi wasn’t sitting with them once again. 

She glanced toward him and saw him discussing something with the commander. Whatever they were talking about must be important since he kept making hand gestures, and scowled at the commander from time to time. The signs showed that he was under stress, but only to the ones that were watching close enough. 

She had tried to keep her focus on the training, especially since she didn’t want to disappoint or annoy, Levi. Her captain who wasn’t looking at her aside from quick glances at her form and performance, glances that had reeked professionalism and nothing more. 

She didn’t know what she was going to say to him exactly. After dinner. Alone. She didn’t know what Armin had tried to say to her exactly either (Though she suspected he knew something more then he let on). Ominous and full of secrets, yet somehow inspired her to talk to Levi. She sighed. He had been cold to her though she shouldn’t have expected anything less. Still, she started to wonder whether she was the only one who was in pain because of they ended… whatever they had and whether she told him that she wanted… whatever they had back. 

She wasn’t going to abandon Eren, of course. That was out of the question. And she decided she had to talk to Eren as well soon, preferably he was calm enough to hear her. She needed to apologize to him for keeping a secret and told him that he was still her family, the only one that was left alive and therefore invaluable for her – even if he didn’t like it. But before all that, she needed to talk to Levi and told him that she didn’t want Eren _that_ way. That he was the only one she wanted _that_ way. And that she was sorry for not being quick enough to realize this before. 

She just hoped that he wouldn’t laugh at her face and sent her away. 

“Mikasa, are you coming?” she came to herself with Sasha’s voice. She didn’t even realize the table getting emptied as their squad started to leave for the night.

“I will be over soon.” She tried to smile at Sasha, who was being even gentler with her than normal since she had cried all over her yesterday. Sasha smiled and squeezed her shoulder as she left. Connie and Jean said their farewells a moment after. She watched as Eren rose from his seat, saying goodnight to Armin and casting a very quick glance at her. She took it as a good sign and felt the vice in her heart loosened up a little. 

Armin left last, after asking her if she wanted any company and smiling brilliantly when he caught her looking at their captain quickly. Yes, Armin definitely knew more then he let on. She drank her tea, swallowing to the very last drop, and turned to look at Levi. 

He was still talking with the commander; and it seemed that Hange had also joined them some time while she wasn’t looking. She deflated a little since it seemed like whatever they had to talk about would take much longer than she had first anticipated. Levi caught her gaze and held it, making all the air left her lungs. He looked apologetically at her, something she took as a good sign for the second time that night. She tilted her head a little, a hidden question. He returned to his conversation with Erwin, seemingly listening to the commander but she didn’t miss the way he subtly nodded his head as an answer. She smiled and rose from her seat to go wait for him in his room. 

* * *

She kept pacing his room, trying to calm her frying nerves. Rehearsing what she was going to say in her head and grimacing at every cheesy thing she might end up saying. Or worse, him laughing at her, and telling her that what they had was simply a fling. A fling that he moved past already, and wasn’t planning to look back at. 

She let out a frustrated breath, hands messing her hair. Tea, she thought. A cup of tea would help her to calm down, and while she brewing one would give her something to occupy herself with. She made her way to Levi’s desk where he kept his tea set. She was sure he wouldn’t mind her borrowing his set, especially if she prepared a cup for him too. And even if he were to mind it she was too agitated to worry about that at the moment. 

She arranged the cups on the tray and dug through his drawers to find a decent brew (not that Levi would buy an indecent brew of tea). She decided on the jasmine, fisted the bag, and closed the drawer. That was then the file lying open on the desk attracted her attention. She vaguely remembered it was the same one Levi had been going through the day before. 

She set the bag aside, gingerly touching the page he was left on. It was filled with names, and dates, and horrible fates. Confused, she turned the page. It had the same content although with different names this time. She turned another page, eyes glazing over the names. And then another page. 

And then just like that, all the blood in her body turned to ice. 

* * *

Eren was sitting on the edge of his bed. His head was aching from the lack of sleep though he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep now even if he tried to. He kept repeating what Armin had said to him last night over and over in his head. 

Did he really like Mikasa, like… _like_ her? He grunted with vexation. He kept thinking about their relationship since last night. How he found Mikasa, how he rescued her, how they grew up together. How she was with him every step of the way. He had never thought of her as more than a friend, yet he also noticed his reaction of her being together with their captain couldn’t really be labeled as friendly. He couldn’t imagine being that freaked out if he had seen any of his other squadmates with their captain, even if he had seen Armin with Levi. Sure, he would be surprised beyond word, and a little scorned that Armin didn’t tell him but he wouldn’t lash out at Armin as he did to Mikasa. And that left out one question for him to answer. 

What made Mikasa so different? 

He groaned and covered his faces with his hands, throwing his back to the bed. He tried to imagine himself instead of Levi as he was kissing Mikasa’s neck like the night he had seen them. He imagined hugging Mikasa from behind, hands covering her waist, and pulling her toward his torso. He imagined himself kissing Mikasa’s neck and nape, burying his face to her hair. 

He pulled the hands covering his face to reveal his grimacing face. It just felt so… wrong. He took a deep breath, schooled his features, and tried to do it again. 

He imagined himself turning Mikasa over, her smiling at him softly - invitingly. He imagined himself placing a hand to her jaw, tilting her head up as he dipped his to meet her lips. He imagined their lips met and opened his eyes, noticing his grimacing got even worse. 

He straightened up to sit, holding his face in his hands. He felt dirty and felt like he just used Mikasa in an unimaginable way, making her an injustice. Why did it feel so wrong? It almost felt like imagining his parents kissing. 

His hands dropped.

_ I’m not your brother or son Mikasa! _

_ Did you confuse your brotherly feelings for Mikasa with something else? _

Brotherly. Brother. Family. 

He turned to look at Mikasa’s torn scarf, resting on his chair. Remembering how she seemed to avoid Levi this morning, looking lost and sad. How Levi seemed more stern than ever, not even sparing a glance at her. 

“Shit. What have I done?”

* * *

Levi was walking toward his room with quick strides, finally. He, Erwin, and Hange finally came up with a solid plan of how to get rid of Bobby Warfield – starting from next week. He would give a very relaxed breath after they were done with the Warfield, and after he made sure to see that filthy pig alone to give him a demonstration of his favorite discipline model. 

Nevertheless, for now, he had more pressing issues at hand, like a certain raven-haired girl waiting for him to _talk_. 

He turned the corner and entered the corridor that had the door to his room, and to Mikasa. He rubbed his hand to his pants, disgusted by the sweat gathering in them, and he heard someone shouting his name just when he grabbed the doorknob. 

“Captain Levi!” he took a very sharp, annoyed breath when he realized who owned that sound. Eren Yeager was running toward him from the end of the corridor. Eren stopped in front of him, putting his hands on his knees for support as he was close to hyperventilating. 

“Yeager, what the hell?” he didn’t make an effort to hide his annoyance. Eren straightened up and saluted him. 

“Permission to speak freely, sir?” 

“Denied,” he said through his gritted teeth before opening the door to his room. He quickly made a move to close the door trying to hide whatever, whoever, inside from Yeager’s eyes though one quick glance to the room showed him that the room was empty, and Yeager’s foot kept him from closing his door. 

He turned quickly; ready to take it all out on the boy. Yet Eren raised his hands on the air in surrender and started talking again before he could do anything. 

“Sir, please! I know you might be tired or not wanting to listen to me but I need to talk to you! It’s important!” he looked at him as if he was a puppy that Levi had just kicked hands still were on air. Levi sighed, and let go of the door turned to make his way to his desk. 

“Make it quick.” He said to Eren as he taking his seat on his desk, loosening up his tie. Eren bowed his head, opting to look at his shoes instead of Levi’s eyes. 

“Sir, I… I actually don’t know where to start. Or should I even speak to you first? But I went to Mikasa’s room first, and she wasn’t there. And I need to make this right. I mean I don’t even know how you two are… umm… doing. I mean not doing that! How do you get along… recently. I – I meant to say…” He rose his head to peak at his captain - to make sure he wasn’t about to get attack if anything. Yet he was surprised to see the man in front of him didn’t even seem to hear a single word that had left his mouth. Instead, his captain was tracing the spine of a file with his finger eyebrows were drawn together. 

“C-captain?” Eren asked, unsure. 

“Huh,” Levi said, going back and forth between pages now “it seems like a page was torn.” 

He looked at Eren as if he had some sort of answer. The urgent knock on the door made them both flinched. 

“Come in!” Levi barked and a soldier looking like he was running a marathon came in. 

“Captain Levi!” he saluted, out of breath “We have a deserter!” 

Eren felt his eyes widen as Levi rose from his seat. They looked at each other, foreboding. 

“Who?” Levi asked almost quietly.

“Mikasa Ackerman.” The soldier replied. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this really happening? Lol! I'm sorry that it took me so long to update guys but here we are once again! Thank you all for reviewing and leaving kudos to this fic! Honestly, I don't think I would be able to continue without your supports! I guess there is only one chapter to go, or two depending on how long the rest of the story would take on the text! Please keep sharing your thoughts with me, I love reading them, and interacting with you! All the love!


	5. Chapter 5

Levi burst into Erwin’s office without knocking. 

“What the hell Erwin?”

“Well, I could ask the same for you, she was under your command” Erwin replied behind his place on the desk. Hange was in the room with him leaning on to the desk as the two were clearly discussing something. Probably about the soldier who had stupidly deserted. _What the hell were you thinking Mikasa_?

“Are you going to send a search party after her?” 

“We were just about to assign a group,” Hange replied instead of Erwin, looking serious as she always did when in emergencies. 

“I think it will be better if my squad went after her, she _is_ part of my squad after all,” Levi said crossing his arms across his chest as he repeated what Erwin said earlier. 

“I guess,” Erwin murmured. His hands clasped together on the desk with a distant look on his eyes – Erwin’s thinking face. _Shit, what now?_

“Erwin?” Hange asked hesitantly as she too noticed the commander’s signature look. 

“I was just… Probably not, but” Erwin raised his eyes to look at Levi directly in the eye. “Ackerman didn’t see the file I have given you before, right? The one about Warfield’s victims?”

Something very cold walked down Levi’s spine. 

“I didn’t show her,” he replied with a herculean effort to keep his voice steady “but… when I came back to my room this evening I find a page missing”

Hange and Erwin straightened their backs, both have the expressions of people who had their fears just been realized. 

“Shit,” Hange murmured beneath her breath. 

“What? What about it?” Levi asked, hoping that he could mask his anxiousness well. Both Hange and Erwin looked at him as if he had grown a second hand. 

“You didn’t read it?” Erwin asked incredulously. 

“I was reading it, but it is a bit hard to finish that thick ass file while I have to deal with shit loads of paper works every day in the meanwhile.” Levi’s snapped, harsher than intended. 

He watched as Erwin rubbed his eyes before reaching toward the drawer in his desk. He pulled another thick file – no wonder his own copy of Warfield’s disgusting crimes and opened it. He went back and forth quickly, finally finding the page he was clearly looking for within seconds. He took a deep breath and put the file on the desk toward Levi. 

He reached toward the desk, a horrible feeling of foreboding in the pit of his stomach, and started surveying the page for the information he wanted. His breath hitched. 

There, was the name he had carved deep into his heart, the name he would have recognized anywhere, and under any conditions. The name that its owner came to hold a very dear place in the center of his world. 

Mikasa Ackerman – the attempt of kidnapping in 9, near the foothill of Wall Maria, currently serving as a soldier of Scout Legions (should be kept an eye on).

_Fuck._

Above her name, a similar one caught his eye. 

Ayumi Ackerman – murdered in 26, in the attempt of her kidnapping. 

That must be Mikasa’s mom. _Shit._

He was nauseous, about to vomit. His face was burning hot but his hands were freezing cold. 

“Levi?” 

He was going to kill him. He was going to kill that bastard with his own bare hands, would rip him apart flesh by the flesh.

“Levi?” He snapped his head toward the noise. Hange was looking at him curiously. Erwin had risen from his seat at some point. 

Mikasa. Mikasa had seen this; this was the paper she had ripped off his file, and she went after Warfield. Alone. Shit. _Shitshitshitshit._

He turned on his heel, already on his way toward the door, Erwin hurriedly called out to him.

“Levi? What are you doing?”

“What do you think? I’m going after her.” He didn’t even take a break from his walk to the door and was about to leave the room, already grasping the door handle as both Hange and Erwin bolted toward him. 

“Levi! You can’t!” Hange yelled as he grabbed his arms for preventing him from opening the door. 

“Be sensible Levi! We cannot let anyone know our involvement in this!” 

“What do you expect me to do?! Sit back and do nothing? She is in my squad!” Levi started yelling back at them before Erwin could even end his sentence. He looked at him, unimpressed as if his words just washed over him without touching anything.

“She is almost as powerful as you Levi, and she has her anger and grief to fuel her,” he lowered his voice saying the next words as if there might be someone beyond the door that could hear him speak “Do you think Warfield could leave that sort of confrontation alive?”

“So what then? We are going to leave her all her own out there?” Levi was about to tear his own hair out “And yes she might be powerful, but Warfield has a hoard of guardians to get his back, while we are going to leave a soldier of our own to fight alone?” 

Erwin exhaled, and his shoulder slumped. He shared a desperate look with Hange. 

“Levi, I know she is a valuable part of your squad but us going after her is basically accepting that we were scheming behind Warfield back,” Hange said with a soft voice, and her eyes shone with understanding. Yet she had this posture of her that screamed the topic was closed to debate. 

“Erwin?” Levi turned to the commander. 

“I’m sorry Levi. She is a valuable soldier and I don’t want to lose her either - but this is a soldier against the whole legion. If the government were to learn our involvement they would disband us, and you know it!”

And as the commander of this legion, he could not let that happened. Levi finished the sentence up in his head. He nodded curtly; jaw tightened so hard that with a little more pressure he could break some teeth. Yet he needed to keep a clear head, for Mikasa. 

“Who else knows that we have a deserter?” 

“Just us, and the soldier that came to inform you.” Erwin replied and added quickly, “Probably Ackerman’s dorm-mate will become suspicious soon enough.” 

“Give me until the morning,” Levi said quickly. 

“Levi!” Erwin roared as if he could knock some sense into him by saying his name. 

“Give me until the morning! You could have reported the missing soldier in the morning. It’s not that the government would care the survey corps’ soldiers, and we are to pretend as if we don’t know what Ackerman had planned!” 

Hange and Erwin shared another look. Levi was getting impatient. He was losing more time with any passing second. 

“Erwin!” 

Erwin gave out a very long breath, “Fine.”

And for the first time since his promise to follow Erwin Smith, Levi turned his back to the commander. 

* * *

“Captain? What’s happened?” Eren asked as soon as Levi walked into his room. He had had the mind to tell the boy to stay put, thankfully. 

“Nothing. Report to your dorm, and said nothing and absolutely nothing about Ackerman to anyone. Do you understand?” 

Eren looked at him with wide eyes and a slacked jaw. 

“Captain..” he whispered, expecting more but Levi already walked past him and toward his closet, pulling the darkest clothes he could find. 

“Do it now, Yeager!” he said without looking and proceeded toward his desk. 

“No.” 

Levi stopped as he was pulling his gun from the drawer. He looked directly at Eren’s eyes. 

“Eren, don’t test me! Report to your dorm! Now!”

“No!” Eren yelled back just as fervently as he did. Levi felt his eye twitched. He needed to remind himself that he didn’t have time to clean up Eren’s corpse right now if he were to shot the boy. 

“I want to help!” Eren continued, didn’t look afraid at all, “She is –“ 

He stopped in mid-sentence and they both looked at each other for a second. 

“She is my sister.” Eren finished with a whisper and averted his eyes from Levi’s for a moment. In a flash, his eyes snapped back to his again “I need to be there, whatever is going on! She is my sister! You cannot stop me!” 

They stared at each other again, both assessing the other, trying to guess the next move. Finally, Levi exhaled. 

“Well, I guess I could use some help.” 

Eren straightened his back. 

“Wear black, don’t be seen and if you come across anyone don’t tell anything. Meet me at the barn in fifteen minutes. Don’t be late!” he yelled after him but Eren was already running toward his dorm room. 

* * *

They rode in the dark, skirting around the city in order to avoid being seen, toward the Warfield’s mansion. They had no idea if there was the place Mikasa would be in but Levi decided this should be the first place to check, as this was the closest one to the base. 

Warfield’s giant mansion was built outside of the city, probably guarded by a handful of men. Levi had never been there before, but he had spent enough time to learn his surroundings around the base – an urge reminiscent of his days from the underground. They rode at top speed, never once slowing down. His heart beating in his chest at a rapid pace throughout the whole journey. _MikasaMikasaMikasa._

Finally, after what had felt like an eternity, they saw the figure of the house behind the tall pine trees surrounding it. Levi raised a hand to get Eren’s attention. They both came to a stop. 

“She might not be there, or might be captured. In both cases, there must be armed guards around. Keep your eyes wide open, and hold your gun at ready.” 

They dismounted from their horses and bound them to a nearby tree. It was better to continue on foot to avert the attention from themselves as much as possible. They walked for five minutes without coming across to anything, or anyone. Guns at hands, swords within reach, and hearts pounding. 

Finally, Eren nudged his arm and pointed toward a shape through the trees. A brown horse feeding from the thick long grasses on the field. Bounded and abandoned. A horse that seemed eerily familiar. 

“It’s Mikasa’s,” Eren whispered what was on Levi’s mind. She was here and close. _Please, let her be okay._

Nodding at each other they walked a bit more. Anxious and sweating despite the cold air. The house was in the dark, no light coming from it. There was no sound. The house just looked empty. Was Mikasa captured? Did they take her to someplace else? The file said to keep an eye on her. No doubt Warfield was daydreaming about getting his dirty hands on her, and now here she was. Coming to him by herself, with her own feet, with her own fucking volition. _Fuck Mikasa, why didn’t you come to me first?_

Levi clenched his jaw and breathed through his nose. He had half the mind to turn back and started checking upon other addresses before it was too late when he noticed something dark in the ground. He raised his hand, which Eren walked right into and bumped it, stopping abruptly. Levi didn’t have time to scold her so he just pointed toward the dark shape, and then waved twice quickly cueing Eren to stand still as he started walking alone. 

Seeing the body clearly now that he was close he took a few more steps and crouched down. 

A man with black hair. 

He sighed with relief and checked the man’s pulse. Dead. Stabbed. 

He got up quickly, informed Eren and they both continued toward the house. Now that they found a clue to track down they took purposeful quick strides toward the house. He saw two more bodies, a man and a woman, along the way, and Eren tripped over one as he couldn’t see the man lying on the ground, clothed all black like them. No Mikasa. 

They came to the doorway. 

The door was open with three more bodies lying in front of it. 

They walked into the house, sidestepping them without checking their pulses. On the left was an open living space. Blood seeping out of the archway. Two more bodies lying scattered. They entered the living space, and… stared. 

The moonlight bathed the room through a huge window. A figure was lying on the ground in a pool of liquid as there was another one straddling it. 

She didn’t even flinch as they approached her slowly as if they were approaching a wounded animal. The knife was still in her hand. The handle of it was bent awkwardly. The pointy side of it penetrating through the man’s chest. Man, Levi was now recognized as Warfield himself. His eyes were open and he had a horrified expression on his face. He was dead and lying on a pool of his own blood. 

Eren got on his knees.

“Mikasa,” he whispered gently to the girl straddling the man for who knew how long. She didn’t even flinch, as unmoving as the man’s chest she was sitting on top. Eren slowly reached and put his hand on her shoulder. She was still looking at the man beneath her. Her eyes were wide open, and her hair was wet from all the blood she had shed. She must have looked terrifying when she first came bursting down the door, but she only looked terrified now that her enemies were down. Levi felt as if something was breaking on his chest. 

He crouched down on the other side of her. 

“Mikasa,” he said in a low voice as if he was trying to wake her. He probably was. She blinked when she heard his noise, and her head tilted toward him slightly, but her eyes remained fixed on Warfield. 

“Mikasa, it is okay. It is over.” He said to her calmly even though he was anything but. She finally averted her eyes and looked at him. He watched her as the curtains on her eyes lifted and she blinked twice more. 

“Levi?” she mouthed him, couldn’t find her voice yet. He smiled encouragingly as his own hands found her shoulders. He quickly swiped his hands around her body, checking her vitals, searching for any injuries. She seemed fine - physically. 

“Yes, I’m here.” 

She turned to her right, as she sensed another presence beside her. When she saw Eren she froze again. 

“It’s okay, Mikasa,” Eren told her, his grip on her shoulder tightened. “Let me have that.” A hand made its way down toward Mikasa’s toward the hands clutching at the knife for her dear life and he pried open her fingers one by one. 

“Eren,” she whispered as Eren finally got the knife from her. He passed it to Levi, which he took away quickly. Eren put his now free hand to Mikasa’s other shoulder, pulling her to him. She gave in; head crushed against his shoulder and started crying in the earnest. 

Eren pulled her up from the waist, hoisting her a bit, freeing the dead man on the ground from the death grip of her legs. 

Levi suddenly realized that this was a scene painfully familiar to Eren and Mikasa. He had read the files on them both before. He knew that Eren saved Mikasa from her kidnappers when they had been both nine, as Mikasa saved him in return the very same day. He imagined Mikasa must be just as shaken as she was now on that day. The day her parents died. The day she had killed her parents’ murderer. 

He felt like he was invading something unique to them so he rose to his feet and started surveying the area.

He checked all the rooms, all the bodies around to see if there was anyone left alive. He had to kill them himself if there were. He had found three more bodies within the mansion and two additional ones on the outside. None of them were alive. 

He circled the house and then drew another circle that was bigger than before. There were no more bodies that he could find. He just hoped Mikasa didn’t let anybody to flee. For now, that was all he could do. 

He returned to the house and found Eren and Mikasa where he had left them before. Eren had given his cloak to Mikasa as she was shaking uncontrollably. Her teeth were chattering. At least she had stopped crying. Eren looked at him expectantly. 

“Eren, take Mikasa, we will ride back toward the base from the road we have come from. I will take Mikasa’s horse and bring it with me. When we reach the base take Mikasa to my room, try not to be seen. I will try to meet you there when I can.” Eren nodded quickly, rose to his feet, and scooped Mikasa up to his arms. She still seemed to be out of it. 

Mikasa’s eyes found his as Eren took her out of the house. Her hand made a phantom movement as if to reach him and something painful shone in her eyes. His heart clenched. 

He shook the feeling off. 

Later. 

If they were lucky. 

* * *

Eren reached the base before Levi as the said captain spend additional time to get Mikasa’s horse. He avoided the dark shapes of people wandering at night, circled around the city, and rode as quickly as he could while holding onto Mikasa. She didn’t talk during the whole ride, the parts of her body pressing against his on the horse was freezing cold and he could feel she was still trembling uncontrollably. It was all too familiar, and he didn’t have a scarf to wrap around her neck this time. 

He rode his horse to the stables; even if there were soldiers of the survey corps noticing him they didn’t say anything. He dismounted quickly and reached for Mikasa to help. She was uncharacteristically unsteady on her feet. A painful reminder of the girl he had saved all those years ago before the reality of their world struck her in the face like the shape of a punch belonged to her parents' murderer. 

They took a few steps but it was clear to him that Mikasa couldn’t make the whole way on her own feet. For a second he was afraid that Levi had missed something crucial before and she was indeed injured. Yet a quick check on her body, in which Mikasa stand perfectly still while eyes looking somewhere far away, showed him that her body was not the one that got hurt tonight. He quickly scooped her up again and she didn’t protest, didn’t even seem to realize what was happening. Mikasa was heavy, maybe almost as heavy as he was but he was still riding high on adrenaline so he marched toward the captain’s room with relative ease. 

Inside he deposited Mikasa on Levi’s bed and went to turn on the gas lamps around the room. He finally truly saw Mikasa once they were illuminated with the soft gleam of the candles. She was covered in blood head to toe through the black color of her clothes hid the horridness mostly. Her hair was a sticky mess and her face was a mix of blood and sweat and tears. She was still trembling, though he realized it got slower a little, hands clasped together in front of her like a little girl. His stomach turned upside down. 

He approached her slowly and took her hands between his gently, helping her rose from her seat from the edge of the bed. They made their way to the adjoined bathroom. She took a seat on the toilet pulling her legs toward hers and encircling them with her arms. Eren turned on the water to fill the tub. He checked the heat of the water and once he was satisfied, he once again went toward Mikasa. 

He kneeled in front of her, took her hand in his, and looked at her in the eye. She looked back and although she seemed resigned, at least she seemed to be aware where she was this time. He cleared his throat. 

“Mikasa, I’m… I’m so sorry.” He whispered and watched as her eyes widen the slightest bit. He could say she wasn’t expecting this. He tightened his hold on her hands. 

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t with you tonight. I’m sorry about the s-scarf.” He took a shaky breath, “And I’m sorry that I had lashed you out the way I did before.” 

He waited for her to respond but she just looked at him with wonder, trying to understand where these are all coming from since he wasn’t the one that apologizes often in their little group. So he decided to bite the bullet and continue. 

“I was… afraid,” he said and had to look away, ashamed. “It was an unknown situation for me, to have your attention diverted. I mean I know that you care about Armin just as much as you care about me. But I know that you wouldn’t love him more than me” He took a quick peek at her face making sure she was listening. She was. 

“I was afraid of being replaced.” He confessed, still unable to look at her in the face. She squeezed his hand that was still holding hers. 

“Eren,” she said, voice hoarse. He met with her eyes, “I would never replace you.” 

She gave him a watery smile as if to encourage him to believe her and only then he gave out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding. 

“You are my family,” she said with finality. In the past, he would get angry at her words, claiming that they were not a family. How could they be if they were born from different parents after all? But not anymore. He squeezed her hand back. 

“You are my family,” he whispered. 

* * *

When Levi finally returned to his room, it was late. He had spent more than an hour with Erwin after returning from Warfield’s mansion, explaining the situation and trying to coming up with a plan. 

The lights were on in his room and Yeager was seating on the chair placed in front of his desk. He jumped on his feet to salute him, anxiousness guarding his eyes. 

“Sir?” It was weird how many questions one word could bear. _Did you tell the commander what had happened? What will happen to Mikasa? Will there be a trial?_ Levi gave out an exhausted breath. 

The commander was expecting something very much like the massacre that had taken a place in the Warfield Manor from the very first moment he realized Mikasa had learned about the man behind her painful losses. Since Warfield had already targeting Erwin he needed to be eliminated, one way or another. So they had that problem being solved in their favor and being the dirtbag he was, Warfield being dead didn’t bother their consciences even one bit. What was left to do on their part however was to make sure cutting all the ties that might associate Mikasa, and indirectly the Survey Corps, with Warfield’s death since the man had had a close relationship with the Crown and there would be an investigation on his death without a doubt. _If_ they failed to make Warfield’s business public, that was. Being associated with a person that had an active hand in prostitution, kidnapping, and enslaving wouldn’t be something that one wanted for themselves while the others watching. 

Fortunately, Levi had managed to stop Erwin from reporting about her desert before going searching for her. So the necessary institutions didn’t know about Survey Corps had a missing soldier the night of the event. From what could Levi told there wasn’t anybody left alive to tell the tale in the Warfield Manor and even if there was, Levi, suspected that they could tell whom Mikasa was. She wasn’t wearing anything bearing the beloved symbol of their legion and Mikasa wasn’t a soldier that her face was known to the public as much as he did. 

Again, the most crucial part of all this boiling down to show the true face of Warfield to the public. If they could do that then the Crown would paper over the cracks of Warfield’s obvious murder. In their attempt to save themselves they would let anyone believe that was a business deal gone wrong, or whatever.

They all placed their bet on this option. Erwin and Hange were still working on their revelation plans as Levi had left them to their devices, somehow convinced Erwin to wait for an additional hour to talk to Mikasa as she had still been in shock when he had last seen her. 

She would be punished of course, if she were lucky enough to save her neck that was. 

“We will lay low for now. Erwin is working on it. Though of course there would be some consequences.”

Levi watched as Eren’s shoulders slumped in relief. They both turned to look at the closed bathroom door as the sound of water flushed down on the drain reached their ears. 

Eren shifted uneasily before saluting him again and without meeting his eyes he marched out of his room. Levi stood where he was for a second unable to think what else to do next. His eyes caught the tea set left on his desk and he made a beeline to it. He put the dry chamomiles into the pot and started boiling the water, pulling out a jar of honey from the drawer after. He heard the sound of the door opening then. 

Mikasa was standing in the doorway of his bathroom wearing his clothes, a long sleeve white shirt, and black leggings. Levi might be shorter but he had more muscle than she had so his clothes were a fit if he ignored the uncovered skin of her ankles. He poured the tea down into two cups, mixing Mikasa’s with honey. She didn’t even move a muscle. So he took her cup into his hand and approached her. Grabbing her wrist gently he pulled her toward his bed, seating her to the edge, and transferred the cup into her unwilling hands. 

“Thanks,” she murmured looking under her eyelashes. He went back to his desk to grab his own cup and heard her took a shaky breath. 

“I’m sorry,” her voice was a gentle whisper “Did I cause much trouble?”

“A little more than you usually have, I must admit.” He answered her and took a sip from his tea. “We must go to meet Erwin in less than an hour by the way”

“Sorry,” she apologized again having trouble with talking around the tears blocking her throat. 

She didn’t hear Levi approaching her and only noticed him when he took her cup off of her hand. He put the cup to the floor and hold her now empty hands. She immediately squeezed his back. 

“Are you okay?” 

She nodded furiously but as tears started to fall down her face, she started to shake her head instead. Crystal sprinkles of her tears were scattered around. 

“I – I thought…” she paused to take a deep breath, “I thought I would feel at peace… finally, but I just feel – empty.” 

“Oh, Mikasa,” He cupped the side of her face and guided it down on his shoulder. Trying to shield her as much as he could in his position. Finally letting himself feeling a little bit of relief. She was here, and safe in his arms. He pushed on his feet and sat down next to her. She dropped her legs around his and cuddled on his chest. When her tears finally dried down they were on their backs on the bed. 

“You should have come to me,” he whispered when she got quiet. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this powerless, probably in his childhood, as Mikasa had cried and he wasn’t able to do anything to ease her pain. 

“I needed to do this myself,” she whispered back “Besides; I couldn’t say I was thinking clearly at that moment”

They laid quiet for a while after that. Each lost in their own thoughts before Mikasa leaned back to look at his face and broke the easy silence between them. 

“Did you know?”

“Know what?”

“Know that he did all these?”

“No, I haven’t read that page yet,” he said, squeezing her hand that laid on his chest within the grasp of his own. “I don’t know what I would do if I have,” he confessed, his gray-blue eyes shone with viciousness for a second. She couldn’t help but gulp. 

“What will happen now?” 

“Erwin is going to beat the shit out of you, I assume.”

“Levi,” she weakly swatted his chest, her movement lacked any playfulness that would have been there just a few days ago. 

“I don’t know,” he whispered. It seemed like a long shot but if their plan were to fail and the Crown would find out Mikasa was behind the murders then – he shuddered. He couldn’t let himself finish that line of thought. 

“It will be okay,” he said assuring. “You will shovel a lot of horse shit probably though after Erwin would chew your ear off, obviously,”

And because she was exhausted, she let herself believe that. Closing her eyes, she asked.

“Can I sleep a little before we go to see the commander?” 

He tightened his hold around her.

“Yeah,”

* * *

They had interviewed Mikasa until the sun shines assaulted Erwin’s office through the curtains. It seemed like Levi was right on his assumptions before. Mikasa didn’t let anyone escape with their lives from that hell house, at least the ones she had laid her eyes on. If they could reveal the true face of Warfield in time, the possible escapees’ words wouldn’t mean anything in the public eyes, and indirectly in the eyes of the Crown – it would be reviewed as a criminal’s ravings. 

Hange had left the base with the first lights of the sun, taking Moblit with her. They had to start whispering dirty truths to the listening ears in key places as soon as possible. And as for Mikasa, she did get her ear chewed off as promised, and since they couldn’t punish her without revealing the cause behind it, she slipped through the net by getting stuck with shoveling horse shit and cleaning the public bathrooms as long as the otherwise stated. 

Still, she knew that if she was a lesser soldier, having fewer capabilities than she had, she would have been removed from the Scouts, whether the commander risked revealing their hands in this mess or not. 

* * *

Warfield’s body along with his followers found in the morning, by a no less shady business partner who had a meeting with him in his house. Military police, from what Mikasa heard, had rushed to the scene and immediately launched an investigation. The King announced he was going to award any useful informant with a sack of gold that afternoon. 

Unlucky for them all there seemed to be no one lived long enough to tell what really took place that night in the Warfield’s house.

* * *

Mikasa was allowed to train only two hours a day since punished or not Erwin couldn’t risk one of his most powerful legion members to get out of shape. She was to clean the stables and then the bathrooms in her remaining time, Levi as her inspector so she had to make all those places sparkling clean.

Levi caught her during the curfew, according to the story that was told to the Scouts as an explanation behind her punishment. She had been making her way down to Eren’s cell to apologize since they had been crossed with each other on that morning. A fact that could be confirmed by many fellow soldiers. They also said she had gotten into a fight with the captain after getting caught refusing to go back to her dorm and even trying to throw hands. A believable lie for the ones that weren’t perspective enough to believe that Mikasa still carried some bitterness toward their captain, reminiscent of a certain trail of a titan boy. 

Mikasa and Eren only told Armin the truth. He was, after all, a part of their made-shift family, and it would be impossible to hide the tenseness in Eren’s shoulders, or the worry shadowing Mikasa’s eyes as they were sitting on the edge of their seats, afraid that military police would come barging in. 

* * *

Two days had passed and still, there was no suspicion casting upon the Survey Corps or Mikasa. At least as far as they could tell. 

Erwin wasn’t attending to the mealtimes with the legion as much as he used to as he was stuffed in his office, planning and re-planning possible escape plans if the relation of the Survey Corps to the Warfield massacre were being discovered. Armin was staying in his mind more than usual. He too was strategizing, playing with the pawns on the chessboard of his mind. 

Hange was going into the town with Moblit and stayed there most of the time. Sometimes Levi was accompanying them. He stood, as stoic as ever for the eyes of anyone else. Yet Mikasa knew that he was just on the edge as everyone else from the way how his jaw clenched tightly or how he fisted and unfisted his hand from time to time. 

She was sneaking to his room every night since the incident. Having nightmares and unable to sleep on her own, even though she shared a room with Sasha. He wasn’t questioning her as she gently opened the door of his room and made her way toward his bed. He was just flipping the covers for her to climb under, holding her all night.

* * *

“Hey Mikasa,” she emptied the shovel into the nearly full bucket and turned toward the sound of her name. 

“Hey, Eren,” 

“Do you got a minute?” Eren asked, shifting his weight from one foot to another. His hands were hidden behind his back. She rose an eyebrow. 

“Not really but go ahead. Is something wrong?” 

“No, I just wanted to give you something,” he said but didn’t make any move to give her anything. She could say he was nervous which was a rare occasion. Her interest peaked and she smiled to encourage him. 

“Okay give it to me then.” 

He still wasn’t moving, and she could say he was… blushing?

“Ahh! Forget it! It was stupid anyway!” he spluttered, frustrated with himself. Mikasa chuckled at the bizarreness of the situation. 

“Eren!” she yelled as she noticed he was about to head back toward the base. He looked at her, saw her smiling, and gave up with a slump of his shoulders. He revealed his hands to her and there was something red – 

She gasped as she noticed what it was. 

“I know I was a jerk and I shouldn’t have done that. But I also know that you are fond of this so, I try to repair it as much as I can,” he said, looking at her apologetically. She took the scarf – _her scarf!_ \- from his hands and examined it. He had tried to mend the torn pieces with a slightly off-colored red yarn but… it was still her scarf. 

“You don’t have to wear it, of course. I mean I’m pretty sure it is going to fall apart at any time but-“ Eren was scratching the back of his neck. 

“Thank you, Eren.” she gave him a watery smile and he stopped before giving a smile of his own in return. 

“Anytime, sis.”

* * *

On the morning of the third way, the mess hall was a boiling cauldron. 

“Did you hear the news, Mikasa?” Sasha asked her as soon as she reached their table. There was an open newspaper in front of her. 

“Hear what?” 

“You remember that man Warfield? The one who found murdered in his own house?” Connie replied instead, making the blood on her body to turn an icy liquid. She quickly looked at Levi. He was already looking at her, folding the same newspaper as Sasha was reading neatly. Something in his eyes eased her worries but she couldn’t let herself hope yet. 

“Apparently Warfield was a dirty criminal,” Levi said indifferently but there was the tiniest bit of smile on his face. She schooled her features and resisted the urge to sigh in tremendous relief. 

“Oh?” 

“Yeah he was kidnapping and trafficking people,” Jean contributed with a disgusted face “What a fucker, I hope he died painfully.”

“Yeah, the only good thing about this is Warfield dead, and his victims started to get tracking down and freed.” Connie said and then paused, “Wait, that was two things.”

“What about the King? Wasn’t he offering up money for anyone that might lead to Warfield’s murderer?” Mikasa asked as coolly as she could manage. She was taking a piece of bread to her plate on the meanwhile trying to keep her hands busy. She was glad that Eren wasn’t here along with Armin still. He gave something away by bursting out laughing, jumping, and claiming victory.

“He claimed he has been fooled by the good deeds Warfield had made and has no idea what sort of a man he actually was,” Sasha said around a mouthful of potatoes, “Military police are speculating it was probably a handful of his victims that was organized against him, or a business deal went wrong.”

“Overall, the Crown left the Military Police to their own devices, and we all know how competent the MPs are,” Levi said, and when made sure no one was looking he winked at Mikasa. She was all butterflies inside. Finally. No doubt, the Crown would pressure the Military Police to close the case as soon as possible, to cut any ties of Warfield with themselves quickly. It was over. She was free. 

She saw commander Erwin and Hange were at the breakfast that morning. They both looked tired but as they were talking with each other, they were smiling. She had to pay a visit to them both today to offer her thanks in person. 

She looked at Levi and as their squad’s voice ringing around them speculating the involvement of the Crown with dirty things she smiled at him widely. 

* * *

She went to Levi’s room early that night. Usually, when she had come the previous two nights he would already be in bed. This night however she was waiting for him to come to his own room from his patrol duty. 

She rose to her feet from where she was sitting at the edge of his bed as he opened the door. He saw her and they stared at each other for a while. Then, without taking his eyes off her, he closed the door gently and she bolted toward him. He caught her and hugged her as tightly as she did, burying his nose into her hair. They stood like that maybe even for minutes in total peace. Then something had changed in the air. 

Their bodies hadn’t been pressed to each other that tightly since their unfortunate fight. Before the Warfield’s house. But Mikasa didn’t want to think about Warfield this night. Not when she could almost see the electricity crackling in the air between them. 

She slowly leaned back to look at his face and a strand of her hair caught on his five o'clock shadow. They looked deeply at each other eyes still in each other arms. 

“Levi,” she whispered and without warning, his mouth crashed down to hers. She met him halfway kissing him as fiercely as she could. Devouring him. Pouring what she felt about him into the kiss. He groaned, and she felt it in her core. She started to walk back toward his bed as he was slightly guarding her to it, ripping their jackets off on the way. She fell to the bed, taking him with her. He came willingly. 

In the end, she was the one that had to rip her lips out of his to get some very much-needed oxygen, and because she still had things to say. His lips traveled down on her neck as his hands tugging the buttons of her shirt. 

“Levi,” she said again and gasped as he bit the sensitive spot on her neck, “I’m so sorry,” 

He stopped and pulled back to see her face. She almost started weeping at the loss of contact. 

“Mikasa?” 

“I didn’t want Eren that way,” she said, a part of her was hating herself for ruining their moment but she needed to make things clear first. They still didn’t have the chance to fix whatever between them. She was sleeping beside him, and he was letting her for the last two days, and something in the way he held her, pressing kisses on the crown on her head when he thought she was sleeping had her hoping that maybe her feelings weren’t unrequited. And even if they were she didn’t care anymore. She couldn’t keep going without him knowing about her feelings. Not when the feelings in question became so much that they started overflowing from her heart, filled her throat, and pressing her tongue to _speak._ She cupped his face with her hands.

“I – I don’t think I ever did. I had a crush, I admit. But that was long ago and I didn’t want him the way I wanted you.” She looked directly into his eyes “The way I still want you”

“Mikasa,” he whispered her name, eyes wide open as he was listening to every word she said.

“I panicked when Eren find out. He freaked out. He is my family, the only one I have left. I couldn’t just abandon him like that. I made a promise to his mother and to myself.” That was the first time she ever told about the promises she made to a living soul. He cleared his throat.

“I didn’t really ask you to do that” 

“I know. I mean I know now. Though at the time I thought you were, and I was freaking out too. Still, I guess it was for the better since what you had said made me realize things. Things that I wasn’t aware of.”

“Like what?” He was still on top of her, balancing his weight on his forearms, face in Mikasa’s hands. 

“Like how I didn’t love Eren beyond family love,” she said looking at his beautiful eyes. He cracked a smile. 

“Glad that we cleared that one out,”

“Like how I want you and only you,” she continued, and his smile widened.

“Well, I really like the sound of that. And the feeling is mutual if you have ever wondered.” 

“I love you.” She said next and watched as his playful demeanor froze. He was looking at her as if a deer in a flashlight. His pupils were dilated, and Mikasa was sure he stopped breathing. She smiled and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. 

“I love you,” she said again, mumbling against his lips, “You don’t have to say it back. I just want you to know. I love you,” and now she was free to say it without fearing the MPs would come for her at any time. 

He gave out a shaky breath finally and melted against her arms. She started kissing his neck and he groaned with pleasure her name on his lips. A hand snaked down her shirt grabbing her bare waist as the other fumbling with the remaining buttons. One of the buttons was stuck, frustrating Levi and he finally raised a little to grab the fabric with both hands. He tore her shirt, efficiently living her breathless. The buttons went flying around the room. She reached for his belt and tugged it. 

“I miss you so much,” he confessed and she was sure they broke a new record of their own when undressing each other. 

* * *

They laid in each other’s arms afterward, tired and sweaty but deliciously saturated. Levi was still half on top of her, his neck buried the joining point of her neck and shoulder. She was drawing lazy circles at his back with one hand while the other was playing with his hair gently. He pressed a sloppy kiss to the hollow of her neck and sighed. 

“I even miss the taste of your sweat,” he said and she snorted.

“I didn’t think I would live enough to hear you say something like that.”

“It is not as disgusting as it sounds. I could still taste the soap beneath it,” he defended himself as she giggled softly. She closed her eyes, feeling content in his arms, and ready to sleep. 

“I guess it was a good thing you like to shower in the evenings,” he continued.

“Hmmm.”

“I wouldn’t like to smell or taste horse shit from your skin,” she opened one eye and tried to glare at him with it. He chuckled. 

“Tired?”

“Hmmm.”

He pressed a kiss to her lips gently after saying goodnight. 

“Oh, and Mikasa?”

“Hmmm?”

“I love you, too”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I cannot believe this one shot into the dark turned out to be a multi-chaptered scenario that I kept playing in my mind-brain! It's all thanks to you guys! Thank you very much for reading and supporting this story! I hope you enjoy the end of it as well, please let me know what you think. I always take a lot of joy seeing what you guys think!
> 
> Come to think of it this was my first finished multi-chaptered work! I have always wanted to see the end of a multi-chaptered work! So thank you guys for motivating me to achieve my goal!
> 
> I appreciate all of you! Stay safe!


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